Dilemmas, Descisions, Regrets, how to proceed....?

I'm Blogging again in the same week. Wow! This time, I write because of dilemmas, possible regrets, once a descision has been made. We try to make our loved ones happy in the process of giving something up, making concessions, as well as "sometimes" leaving others behind and moving on. The old saying goes, "we can choose our friends, but, we can't choose our families." My family isn't perfect by no means and we have certainly pissed each other off, fought, got angry with each other over the years, but, we always manage to move on, forget and most of the time forgive. My problem is a serious one this time...My sister Millie, (left in the picture) my other sister Kathy, (right in the picture) have this "thing" about Phil. They are not sure of him since I met him and believe me, if people in my family were going to judge people, it would be these two. Kathy, on right, is not trustworthy and she has the ability to smile, make believe, and give the impression she likes you, when deep down judgements are racing through her head about you. NOT very nice qualities in a "human being" if I were to judge. Millie on the other hand, on left, let's you know straight up that she doesn't like you or she will do her best to "inconvience you" to the utmost to her potential. She has certainly inconvienced Phil & myself over the 14 years that Phil & I have been together. We had a home next door to Millie in upstate NY when we realized afterwards that we had made a mistake being so close to family. Interference, trouble, name dropping, fighting, dissagreements, sarcasm, inuendos, verbal harassment, usually addressed to Phil never wanting to accept him in my life no matter my happiness with him. (blinded) So, Phil & I made the descision to go back to St. Martin after the 8 month break. Things were never the same between them anymore. So, Phil & I decided years later to buy homes in Florida, away from everybody, mostly my family and mainly my two sisters. We chose Lee County where neither one of us had ever been, never visited, not knowing a single person in this area. We found a small community outside of Ft. Myers where we wouldn't be bothered. However, thanks to people search, my sister Millie, on left, mangaged to find us, our home address, community etc. Guess What....? She bought a home 1 mile away on the golf course. Well, there goes our "safe haven". The thoughts of anticipation of what she is capable of, is already over-whelming. A repeat of upstate New York is the fear more than anything. Our secret garden has been violated which is not a good feeling. The obsession she has to interfere in our life is unbearable! Crazy? Obsessed? Me? I have no idea. So, a descision has to be made. If I talk with her if she comes around, does that violate my love for Phil & does that leave the door open for possible future harassment when Phil is here? or Will she respect our space when we are here together and avoid the house and our time here? or Do I avoid her, tell her to stay away that I want nothing to do with her anymore? My dilemma is that because she is my sister 62, almost 63, do I keep contact with her, keep her in my life and put my foot down that she HAS NO CHOICE, but to STAY AWAY from both of us? Regrets are and will be what they are in the future and we all have them. I explained the situation with my very dear friend and neighbor, Fran here in Florida. She was walking her dog yesterday morning and our morning routine is to drink our coffee on the street every morning while she walks her dog, Amodeus. She was in tears and told me that she would "give her life to have just 5 minutes back with her mom, brother, sister and husband" who all died within the last 3 years. She told me that I was a fool to give family up to avoid having a problem with Phil. She told me that "he needs to adjust, not deal with my family if he doesn't want to and to let me see my family on my terms."
So, I'm confronted with a situation that needs to be rectified so nobody will be hurt emotionally, keep the peace in my house and life with Phil, and make sure that I don't say in the future, "what if I had done this differently & how should I have handled this problem?" Our families are what they are, but, Phil is my life and I don't want to hurt anybody......What to do, What to do.....? We can choose our friends, but we can't choose our families! I've been dealing with this for years and I'M TIRED of trying to make everybody happy! I'M TIRED, DAMN IT, I'M TIRED!!!!!!!! Any advise to help me to proceed?

July in Florida

Well, here I am again in Florida Blogging. It seems that as time goes on, the only time I have to Blog is in Florida. The last time was April. Am I busy or what...? LOL

I'm here alone this trip working "primarily" on house #2. It was going to be a "joint project", but, Phil's schedule doesn't allow him to get away this time being that his assistant went back to France unexpectedly? I think it was planned for her to work 2 months and earn money for her transportation back to France. But, that's just my idea of what she did to Phil. He's inconvienienced once again due to irresponsible people. I've been here a week already and haven't seen the time pass. In Florida, the state only issues one plate, so I had to decide what to put on the front of the Jaguar that I also refer to as "The Kitty". I put "St. Martin Boys" on the front plate.

Two days ago, I e-mailed Phil after he tried to call me. I told him, "I was outside washing The Kitty". He thought I adopted another cat and was bringing it back to St. Martin to add to our already large collection of family pets. lol lol lol I was hysterical laughing. The he realized I was washing the car. Oh well, it's not easy being me or being with me.....LOL LOL Is Phil lucky or what...? After 14 years of being together, you would think that he'd be use to me.....ha ha ha

So, What has been happening and what has transprired in my life.......? Here we go.......

--I've finished work for another year and on vacation for 5 weeks in Florida.

--A brother I hadn't spoken to in 24 years has re-entered my life.

--A sister that doesn't like Phil (for whatever her reason) other than ignorance has found out where Phil & I bought our house in Florida and bought a house 1 mile away. ugh!

--Phil & I gave up our favorite drink for now....wine.....ugh!

--I bought an Isuzu Amigo in Avon Park, Florida that I'm shipping back to St. Martin at the end of the month.

--Old Friends and Classmates from High School have re-contacted me through Facebook. Even my high school principal has contacted me asking me how my life is....I was impressed.

--My friend Sherry & I are having fun!

Blah Blah Blah

First, my brother George has contacted me through Facebook. We hadn't spoken since my mom died 24 years ago because of words that should never had been spoken as well as other things going on during that terrible time in our lives. As a kid, he was my "big brother" who I loved so much. He was the guy I looked up to, he was the guy who always made sure that I was the first one to ride in all of his new cars, he was the guy who always took me for Carvel Ice Cream to get the cone with sprinkles, he was the guy who always watched out for me when I was in the pool learning how to swim, he was the one who taught me to shoot a bow & arrow into the target, he was the one who taught me how to catch a baseball, "He Was The One....." After my mom died, things were said inappropriately & I silently drifted away from family members, mainly George. The days turned into weeks, the weeks to months and the months to 24 years. We're both stubborn and neither one would budge an inch to make an effort to try to be close again. Well, he made the effort after all of these years and we're catching up on lost time if that is possible. We're learning about each other's lives again and what we've done during the last 1/4 of a century. Time lost, Yes! Time gained now, Maybe! The important thing is that we're speaking again and if all goes well, we should see each other for the first time in August in Florida while I am here.

Second, Since I met Phil, my sister Millie hasn't like Phil from the first day even though she tried to pass it off as she did...yeah right! I think it has to do with the fact that she blames Phil for (in her mind), taking me out of the country. It also has to do with the fact that we live near Phil's sisterin St. Martin and I think she's jealous! Who knows what she thinks? I don't. All I know is that she makes our life difficult when she is around. We moved away from the house we had next door to her upstate NY because it wasn't possible for Phil or myself to go to the house without her tormenting both of us daily. It's sick! We searched Florida where we wouldn't be found and thanks to "People Search" for $19.99 you can find anybody you want to find. Well, she found us here in Florida, and what did she do.....she bought a house 1 mile away. Is that sick or what? We don't understand the obsession as to why she WON'T allow us to live our lives without her being present? So now, the tormenting "might" return. We're both disgusted as to why she followed us here?

Third, Phil & I were eating & drinking too much wine each day. So, for now, the wine is done and the food is less and more healthy.....! This is true for both of us.

Forth, I needed a new car for the island. My Land Cruiser mechanically is perfect, but the salt air has destroyed my trucks body and it's not worth the expense to repair it.

So, I found this Isuzu Amigo in Avon Park, Florida which is about 2 hours from here. I drove it on Saturday and I'm sending it back to St. Martin at the end of the month so it's there when I get home.

Fifth, Facebook has brought so many highschool friends and childhood friends into my life again. I wasn't too impressed with Facebook at the beginning, but, now I am glad that I signed onto it because of getting back in touch with people.

My friend Sherry are in touch "almost" on a daily basis catching up on years also and enjoying each other's stories and funny moments that we shared years ago. We went to school together and ended up working in the same school teaching. We became closer as time went on and were inseparable and was always there to help each other stand up when times were down. It's Great!

I'm here in Florida for 5 weeks, so I'm sure there will be more to Blog about....LOL