A time to Reminisce

Well, this is the time of year when I, possibly all of us, remember the wonderful years of growing up and lost someone close to us. The holidays have always been special for me because it really is a time to remember what we are fortunate to have; and, I don't mean material things.
My parents Always made Christmas a special time and my mom especially, made this holiday mandatory for all of us to be there as a family. I'm the last of 6 kids; three boys and three girls. The unique thing about my family is this: Even though Christmas was mandatory to be home for the holidays, at no point were we ever in the same house together totally Six Together. Most of us would be there together, 5 minus 1, 4 minus 2 and then one or two would leave and the last one(s) showed up within minutes of the other one leaving. Talk about scheduling. It wasn't intentional, it was just poor timing, My mom never saw her adult kids in the same place together. Strange thing!
The tree was always decorated with Christmas Ornaments handed down from one generation to another. We probably had Christmas Ornaments dating back hundreds of years that were brought with the past generations to America. My moms family originated in England and my dads family originated in Germany.
I remember one strange piece that always hung at the top of the tree. Back in the 40's, (I think), Planters Peanuts for a promotion put small Planters Peanut men in the cans of Peanuts. (the peanut man being one with the top hat and crossed leg standing leaning on a cane) Well, this peanut man was Always the last piece to be put on the tree and always made the tree complete due to tradition. The little peanut man found its place years before because my dad opened a can of peanuts, found the little peanut man inside and didn't want to lose it, so he hung it on the tree and it always found its way to the treee for all of the years that followed.
The house was Always decorated inside and out with garland and lights. At that time people stayed in touch by mailing Christmas Cards through the mail and not the computer. My mom would hang the cards on one wall of the living room by stringing rows of garland the enitre wall height and lay the Christmas cards over the garland for all to see. I remember hundreds of them.
Dinners were celebrated on Christmas Day as well as Christmas Eve. My parents had an open door policy for the holidays for friends and family and the house was always alive. Instead of bringing gifts, friends would bring bottles of alcohol or dishes of food or desserts. Not gifts that costs moneys or has a "price" that represents, "look at my gift, it's worth more than theres!"
Talk about Value and Learning Experience for a child growing up in a wonderful environment such as this! I wonder whatever happened to that little peanut man?
I will always remember the good times and the times that I tested my parents parenting skills and sent them over the edge more than I should have. I cherished both of my parents, but, my mom was my protector even into adulthood. After all, I was the "baby", her baby. My dad was all military and strict as all could be. Small little German, but tough as hell.
My mom died when I was just 24 in 1985. She's been gone 23 years and my dad died a few years ago without the family even knowing that he had died until almost 2 years afterwards because his wife didn't get along with his kids and chose not to inform us when he fell ill. But, this is another story.
Somewhere I feel cheated that I only knew my mom for 24 years, while my brothers and sisters new her for more years. But, through all of this, I became stronger. I don't forget her at all. Her face is imbedded in my mind, her voice is now fading from my memory, the laughter that filled the house while growing up, but, I live with ALL or "most of what I can recall" my memories of my childhood and my years of adulthood while she was here.
If we keep the memories strong, the people we love that are no longer here, stays with us forever.
I'm not a religious person because I am not perfect and I'd be sinning daily and I don't have time to go to confession because it would take too much of the priests time. lol But, I am a Spirtual Person and I honestly care about peoples well being and happiness. I live my life each day to be better than the day before and keep a low profile in life.
This Christmas was spent with Phil's family; lots of champagne, wine, good French food and wonderful French Pastries for dessert. And his sister finally found the words to explain me to people during an introduction, I'm now her Beau Frere, which means brother in law. It took her more than 10 years. But, it's better than a Belle Souer, which would be her sister in law.....lol Happy Holidays to Everyone!

Sleep, Rest and Relax....

Have you ever thought about taking time for yourself? I mean to just be able to STOP everything and say, "HEY, I'M TIRED!" As I continue to add more responsibility to my already hectic schedule, I'm becoming more work-a-holic and less time for me!

At work, I've added 4 more classes to my already busy schedule. WHY?

This is why......!

There are 2 groups of children, approximately 34 students who, since the beginning of the school year has had NO ENGLISH CLASSES due to a teacher who is out on leave. Yes, you read that correctly; NO English Classes at all since the beginning of the year. Three and a half months......

I see these kids sitting around everyday outside of the classes on the benches during their scheduled English Class everyday. I spoke with the Administrator and asked him if I could have permission to fill in my free classes, which would normally be used for prep for my classes. He was "surprised" that one of his teachers would actually ask for more class time and more responsibility. No attempts have been made to replace the teacher because she is one of the "Born Here Teachers" who's job is secured, WITH pay until she decides as to when she wants to return. Teachers are in short supply on St. Maarten, so there isn't anyone to replace her; if they could replace her.

I told him that I would take the 4 classes during my free/prep classes and teach them English.

Well, he said, "yes of course", still confused when he passes my classes and once in a while asks, "How are you holding up?" I tell him, "everything is fine and going well." Which in all honesty IS true. The kids are great and finally working in English. And, I'm meeting another group of kids at the school.

Teachers are asking me each day as to why I would want to add more classes to an already hectic schedule and, that I am just making the administrations job easier.

Well, discreet as I am and professionally as possibly, my resonse is this;

"This isn't about EGO or about making an administrator's job easier or looking for anything in return, it's about the kids that are being neglected in a system bigger than them and ultimately will pay the price of their education from the acts of people who know how to use the sytem to their benefit....."

I won't lie, I'm tired, no, let me rephrase that, I'm totally Fucking Exhausted, running on air, have become a work-a-holic like my previous life in NY.

As you know, I'm taking a French Class on Monday and Wednesday nights in Marigot from 6:30pm-9:00pm. My day starts at 4:15am and I might make it to bed by 11:00pm.

I'm not complaining; I took the responsibility for myself for the benefit of the kids.

The French Class is for me and my own educational and personal benefit.

Phil is busy with getting his life back in order and I might add, he's doing GREAT!

Maybe that's why I'm working harder each day and adding responsibility to my busy schedule.

Our daily lives continue each day to a different beat now. When I am home with Phil, he's in the office and I'm somewhere in another part of the house working or studying a book of some sort either in French or English, in one language or another.....lol (Maybe this is MY Therapy?) I also became a work-a-holic after my mom died to get through the ordeal and I realize now; I see a pattern here! Work, Work, Work!

I'm looking forward to the Christmas Break starting on the 22nd of December for 2 wonderful weeks. I'm looking forard to catching up on some long needed and well deserved REST!

Stay tuned for more of my Life's Saga's.

TOTALLY Unprofessional....!

Well, it's been a while again. Busy with work and helping Phil at the restaurant at night doesn't leave me much time for posting on the Blog. Another new SAGA in my life this past week. I know I mentioned at the beginning of my re-entering the teaching profession that my opinion of the people I work with is a "positive one", and all of the teachers are "professional" and there for the kids. My opnion has changed regarding ONE so-called teacher.
Well, I learned recently that my classroom which is or was a computer lab in the past, CAN and IS Controlled by "another teacher", who is the Computer Teacher and teaches Computer Technician Study & Repair. Apparently, the entire school computer system is ONE Network; including the computers in the Administrator's Office. The Computer Teacher can view anything going on in any parts of the school where there are computers....Imagine that.....! He has a program that can shut down any computer within the Network, View ANY Computer and with the push of his finger, shut the computer down, view ALL Information on the screen, saved material, including outgoing e-mails prior to them being sent. Phil and I checked with a professional computer agency, and they confirmed that "as ONE Network all information is "up for Grabs by the Administrator of the Computers", which in this school, is the Computer Teacher.
I suspected "a Spy" on line when Phil did not receive a few e-mails, the computer arrow "moving by itself" while I was using the computer for school purposes; tests, quizes, prepared notes for the kids etc. I thought I needed a new mouse. Duh! I pulled the main cable going into the little blue box, therefore Stopping Internet Access as well as ALL Access to the class in an "Attempt" to STOP the Spying on my room.
As suspected, he sent students to my class during class time to "check the system", in which they were told to plug the blue cable back into the little blue box, giving him; once again, Access to the Computers in my room. Guess what happened again....? The arrow on my computer started to move "by itself", therefore proving my point that "the Big Bully" WAS indeed watching again.
I had a meeting with the Administrator, who then called a meeting with the NEANDERTHAL, who of course denied doing any wrong-doings. He was told to "STOP" by the Administrator and that "at no point is the room to be watched, internet access denied for any reason etc. etc." The learning of the students took priority to his behavior.
Well, that lasted one day and I haven't had internet access for the class in a week and a half. The arrow continues to search for any movement or information that I might be using the computer for at any given movement.
My question is this: "When does this Neanderthal of an Ass find time to teach the kids if he is obsessed with what I am doing in my class?"
Apparently, he Bullies new Teachers or get this "non island people" and tries to force them out from his "harrassment techniques". Eventually, the new teachers leave and either go to another school or they just resign. Can you Imagine?
I also, learned from other collegues, that as bad as this sounds; People who have a BH Degree, (not my words; these are words from collegues), that people with a BH Degree have "special priveledges", rarely reprimanded, Can take UNLIMITED Sick time and ALOT of things are overlooked. NEVER QUESTIONED. I can't count the days that teachers were out since school started. The worse part is that there are NO substitue teachers availalble to fill in when teachers are absent. The kids are left roaming the property, sitting outside and making noise while classes are going on.
Well, this Computer Neanderthal has a BH Degree. What does this BH Degree mean?
BORN HERE........ Need I say more?
I will not give into this Moron Neanderthal ASS! I will not give up on the kids which is the reason why I went back to teaching. He doesn't realize that he's dealing with a New Yorker!! lol I keep my New York Attitude in it's place, but, when it is necessary to deal with morons like this, I don't need to use my temper or anything else, just my Wit and suvival instincts and stay 20 steps ahead of his noncense. It's sad that the island has POOR ROLE MODELS such as this NEANDERTHAL. But, as a professional, I keep my head up, do my job, and avoid this ASS.
As for the Spying on the computers; I'm working on it............!!!!!!!! lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

Computers are a wonderful invention and creation as long as they are used in a way that doesn't hurt or diminish the ability of another individual. In this case, he is looking for something that he might be able to use against me for whatever his motive.
As far as I can see; because my life is NOT an OPEN book as so many people have a tendency to do here in St. Maarten; I share ONLY what I CHOOSE to share and everything else is irrelevent!
I'm the "mystery of the school." I go in, do my job, socialize in a professional mater.
People have stopped asking personal questions, people have stopped telling me where they hang out on Friday & Saturday nights, if I would like to join them. I politely say, "I have prior comitments."
So, maybe he feels it necessary to continue to "Probe" and find out anything about my life, so he can report to those still pursuing the "mystery man". I call it DISCRETION!

A "weight" we go....

Okay, I know, I know.....2 weeks without writing. With test preparation, testing week and grading, well, not much time for Blogging. So, tonight as "most" other nights, I began my evening exercises. It's going well, however, age, the love of eating "kind of" slows down the process of "weight control".

Tonight I decided to run and take a break from the bike; Not on the street because I don't pay attention to the cars, trucks, motorcycles because I am too into my Mory Kante' Yekki Yekki music as well as my club music that sets me a running.
Those of you who have read Phil's Blog; you know that we found, or should I say, "she found us", Bobby Lee, the new member of the family, who "just happens" to be in HEAT....... (love those girls) Caramel is a "bit frustrated" to say the least.......
While running in place near the pool in the yard, (not ready to run in the neighborhood just yet!), Le Petit Prince, aka Caramel decided that he was going to smell Bobby Lee's Butt through my legs, remember, I'm LOST in the music. Before I know it, I'm down on the ground, almost in the pool with all family member's stairing down at me with confusion on their faces.

For me, I have know F***king idea what just happened and I go to get up and I find that BOTH calf muscles are pulled or strained or irritated from running and falling. Talk about a workout!

I'm still struggling with losing weight. I'm down, yes down, to 206 from 220 pounds. I found that even though workout shorts are great for walking the dogs on the beach and comfortable around the house, I also find it "not so good to eat" wearing them, because they have a tendency to stretch and you NEVER know when to stop because there is NO top botton to open.....duh! duh! duh! They just keep stretching like surran wrap.
So now, I am walking like I had a "good night out with the boyz" laugh, laugh, and all I did was fall because Caramel had to sniff & lick Bobby Lee's Butt through my legs. The SAGA continues! It's not easy being me!!!! lol lol lol

Stay tuned for more life and crazy things that can only happen to me!

Depression.....

My Therapy Session for Myself....today!
Well, I tried to avoid this topic, but I think it's time to share my feelings about Depression. I'm not Depressed, just sad for the situation.

We've been through alot this year, me on the side; Phil dealing directly with the loss of his mom and the descision of closing of the restaurant has certainly taken it's toll on Phil.

As people; some are strong, weak, tolerant, etc., we all deal with depression in so many different ways. When my mom died or when I separated from a 12 1/2 year relationship, (not by choice)I dealt with my depression by becoming a work-a-holic. It didn't change the situation, but it certainly kept me busy and helped to not think about the "situation at hand" at that time in my life. (I was 24 years old when my mom died and 30 years old when I separated.)
I learned how to go through it - (most of the time alone), and I survived. A void with my mom is always present, but, I accpeted that "Death is the price we pay for Living", and we move on.

We don't control when or how we die, or when we are forced to make descisions beyond our control; and probably would choose not to, when it did come time, but, this is the reality of life, isn't it?

In my situation, (it's not about me), but, I have to be careful to not let the "present situation" bring me down. I accept my time at home or in the car in "almost quiet", "none communication". The laughter has limitations and the happiness that once existed has become more forced...
I've learned how to be Extremely Independent and have been through a lot in my 46 years of life. Phil is going through a lot and I have become quiet more than I would like to be, but, when your partner can't talk about his thoughts, you know it's better to be quiet than to pry.

We've been through alot over the many years that we've been together and learned how to be tolerant of each other's moods of sadness, grouchiness, or just our moods on certain days. This time, it's more serious and my approach is to just stay silent, on the side waiting patiently. Talking about the situation isn't an option now. This is the only way, for now, to deal with depression without becoming depressed myself. Afterall, what can be said when the person shuts down, closes himself off and is trying to move on with his life?

We've had happier times in our life, and for now I feel that Our Life is on Hold! We're not doing the things we used to do, nor are we as close as we used to be, when I thought this was the time to rely on each other more closely.... So, I end my Blog Writing today with some definitions of Depression... and what some of my days are like now that I have learned to adjust to yet another uncontrollable situation in my life.....


What Changes Are Noticeable?
Some changes may be subtle but others will more clearly indicate that depression is likely present in your loved one. Energy levels can change a great deal when depression is present. Your loved one may be highly excitable and restless or may be quiet and sluggish. Moods can change quickly, with a 'high' mood of happiness and energy one minute, and a sudden change to a 'low' mood of misery and hopelessness. Your loved one may also feel extremely negative about his or her appearance and worth as a person. It can seem confusing to you when you see a capable and intelligent person but your loved one sees him or herself as useless and unaccomplished. Some of the other symptoms you may initially notice are that your loved one is:
Helping Both of You
Depression can really keep your loved ones from enjoying life to the fullest and they are fortunate to have a person who cares about their well-being. When a loved friend or family member suffers from depression, you can provide support and warmth but don't forget that a loved one's depression can take its toll on you as well. If you find you are having trouble handling your worry and distress over a loved one's behaviour and feelings, then consider joining a support group or talking to a friend or counsellor. It's important to remember that while you're providing care and support for your loved one, you don't want to stop caring for yourself
Depression due to bereavement may occur when grief becomes overwhelming persistent and prevents a person from functioning in a normal capacity. Grief refers to the emotions, thinking patterns and actions that someone exhibits following the loss of a loved one. There is no one way of coping with the death of a loved one and people react to the death of a close friend or family member in different ways. Factors such as the relationship to the deceased as well as your own personality and views on death will all impact how you handle grief. Grief may also worsen during certain times of the year, such as holidays, birthdays or anniversaries, when you are perhaps reminded of the deceased.
Grief Phases
Grief tends to occur in different stages and these involve:
Shock, confusion and disbelief at the news
Acute pain, devastation and sadness as reality hits
Slow resolution and healing
Positive thinking is not something that comes naturally to many people. It involves a certain attitude and mindset that are committed to growth development and successful behaviours.
This type of attitude is one of optimism, rather than pessimism.
A positive way of thinking embraces:
Good health
Happiness
Positive outcomes
Encouragement
Negative thinking devotes itself to:
Defeatist attitudes
Unhappiness
Poor faith
Frustration Over time

It's unbelieveable how many different types, forms of Depression exists in the world....

Another Day with the Kids!

Well, another wonderful day and experience with the kids. We kyakked around the Simpson Bay Lagoon and had a great time. The kids learned about the Mangroves and the life that grows in and around the mangroves. They learned how to kyak which was the first time for all of them. From there, we went to Le Galion Beach and had another BBQ where Phil was already there cooking the chicken. He had set everything up so that when I arrived with the kids, all they had to do was sit and eat. I didn't know that there was paddle boats at Le Galion Beach and the kids wanted to try their "new found water expertice" at paddle boating. I think my love and respect for the water is rubbing off on the kids. They had a wonderful day on the water and they learned more about what St. Maarten/St. Martin has to offer them.




Next month, I plan to take them to Lottery Farm and hike to the top of Pic Paradis. After hiking down, I would like them to experience Fly Zone, where they can fly above and between the tree tops on cable swings.

Registering A Vehicle on the Island,,,ugh!

Okay, here we go with another "saga in the life of Bill on the Island of St. Maarten/St. Martin.

I saw this 1986 Toyota Land Cruiser on the side of the Airport Road for a few months, neglected and in need of some, a few, ALOT of repairs. I spoke to the seller of the truck, a worker at Thrifty who was selling the car for a Medical Student who had gone back to Michigan a year ago, leaving his truck behind to be sold.

My first inquiry; the owner was asking $3000 for the 1986 Land Cruiser. I said, "yeah right, I don't think so." We needed a second vehicle now being that our schedules were different. I wanted a used, fairly good shape vehicle and most of all; RELIABLE! As my search continued for the criteria I was looking for, and seeing what people were selling, I said, "absolutely NOT"! I didn't want a new car or new truck and I didn't want to deal with Dealer Mark-ups! I'm Basic and my life is simple here in St. Maarten and why complicate it with a new vehicle?

I eventually e-mailed the seller directly and made him an offer..."$1200 for the truck as is and I'll take it away." My mechanic test drove it and said the turbo diesel engine was solid as was the rest of the truck and just "minor repairs would get this beast up and running." He was right. A month in the shop and this baby was purring like a little lion cub...

Now the Registering Part: Phil & I wanted to register the truck on the French side. While I was working, Phil was spending his days, yes days, going to the Dutch Police for authorization that the truck "was not stolen and we had bought it legitimately". (first stamp of ownership) Then off to the insurance to prove we went to the police for the legal authorization of ownership. (second stamp of approval) Then off to the French side. Technical control for the inspection, Pass...(third stamp of approval), almost there....right.....! Then the last stop for authorization to get the plates was a stop at one of the Sous Prefet's office for the legality of the vehicle from Dutch side to French side. Well, first day, Phil needed more sigantures. More running around. (not there yet), second day back to the Sous Prefet's office, "no, not acceptable". For some reason, Little Ms. Power Hungry at the Sous Prefet's office didn't believe we aquired this vehicle legally and she wanted to, get this; "meet the previous owner in person to ask him personally if he sold us the vehicle." So, we weren't going to fly Mr. Medical Student back to St. Martin for an interview with Ms. Power Hungry-Prejudice against Boys in Love, so off to the Dutch Side for Registering. First stop, Inspection, then to the Island Receiver's Office for the Official Papers saying I own the vehicle in question and to be assigned the number plates, then back to the inspection station to get the official Inspection Card with the number of the plate on the card, then back to the Island Receiver's Office to get the actual plates.....ugh! **Note: there is about 2 miles with ALOT of traffic between the Island Receiver's Office and the Inspection Center which took almost 2 1/2 hours to finalize the papers of this back and forth, back and forth.

Finally, it's official, I own the truck and driving it legally on the road. Not too bad for a week long project to Register One Vehicle. How I Love St. Maarten/St. Martin.....

Fat is the Topic of the Day...

So, here's a new topic compared to the usual ones I write about. A few nights ago at the restaurant, our cook made some extra food for Phil and me to try. Of course I was the first one to the dish and kitchen window and started eating, not thinking about anything, other than wanting to eat; mostly due to boredom; I guess. Phil was along side of me and made a statement...."what is it with you and food...."? Well, to my surprise, he was right. I have this thing with food where I love to eat, pick and when bored, do more than pick...if you know what I mean. I Love to Eat, Period! As I get older, now 46, I find myself not as active as I use to be and the weight keeps getting the better of me. I've levelled off at 210 pounds, but at 5'10" and 46 years old, it's not muscle anymore by no means. ugh! When I met Phil 12 years ago, I was 31 waste and 170 pounds. Wow, those were the days......ha ha ha "I wonder if I was this weight then and look the way I look now, would I be here with him today"?....right, I don't think so....!

I try walking with music; I get bored after a few days, I ride the bike with music; I get bored again after a few days. I do work for school with a bowl of chips next to me and a coke and guess what; I don't get bored...ha ha ha

I've tried fatreducing pills, fat burners as they call them, but, you have to exercise along with taking these "miracle drugs", all legal of course. I've tried calorie reduction pills, fat reducers where the fat doesn't stay in your body after you eat...blah blah blah, guess what my conclusion is....?"It's all BULLSHIT with a Capitals BS and I'm keeping my weight and the nutrition stores in St. Maarten and the Vitamin Shoppe in America is getting richer and calling me STUPID! "Keep eating you idiot!"

So, after waking up this morning with my back thrown out once more because of a bad movement in bed, because of my weight and not being able to move easily anymore, (and not for fun where at least I could have an excuse the next day and say to myself that "it was worth it to throw my back out", but that's not the case. I threw my back out because I've gained weight over the last year. I lay on the beach and have difficulty getting up off the sand.

So, today I start once again with the wonderful idea of losing weight, watching what I eat; and not watching what I eat as I shovel it in my mouth; I mean REALLY watching what I eat, how I eat and making a very strong attempt to not get bored while exercising. My weight as of today is 210 pounds and my goal is to lose 30 pounds. I'm not sure how long this goal is going to take, but at least now I have a goal. I want to be 180 pounds in the near future. It won't be easy because it means giving up almost everything in every food groups that I enjoy, but, I now realize that my health has to be the priority and I have to stop increasing my pants size and buying new clothes every 6 months.

So, wish me luck and I'll keep you posted.

Heritage, Culture, Ancestry...

This week I did lessons on Heritage, Ancestry and Culture. I want the kids to know where they came from and where their own ancestry starts. It isn't easy for them believe it or not. Records lost or just not written down, or just plain carelessness about the future. The kids are fascinated when I tell them about my past; My Heritage, My Ancestry as well as my Culture. On my mom's side of the family which dates back to the 1500's, starting a new life in the "new world" of America, coming originally from England on the Mayflower. I have more records on my mom's side than I have of the side of my dad, whose family originated in Germany.
When I was a child growing up in school, we had a census starting in elementary school once a year, asking if you were white, black, Eskimo or American Indian. My mom always said to be proud of who I was and where I came from so I always checked: American Indian. I am born into the Mohegan Tribe through my mother's side of the family. Growing up was always a learning experience. My grand father was a positive role model for me and how I loved the man that he was. I was even named after him. How He loved animals and nature so much. I believe, that is why I respect nature and animals as I do because of him. My parents would teach us crafts; mostly Indian Lore of bead work, working on a bead loom, leather work, and history. Of course mom taught dad what she had learned from her parents.
Through this we were taught to repect nature, life and the differences of other people and their lives. My great great grandfather's included Uncas, the Indian Chief of the Mohegan Tribe as well as Ulyses S. Grant, President of the United States. Phil and I tried to visit his house located outside of Albany, NY a few years ago, only to learn that a state prison has been built around his house and is only open a few times during the year for visits. Imagine a piece of history sitting in the middle of a prison? Good Planning Again! duh! So through life of tee pees and wig wams and through Indian Reservations, my tribe has successfully reclaimed what is ours and we're

investing in Connecticut on our reservation's property, as well as Pennsylvania. Yes, the tribe owns the Mohegan Sun Resort and Casino in Uncasville, Connecticut, as well as the Pocono Downs Race Track in Pennsylvania. All tribal members which totals approximately 1900 Mohegan Indians benefit from the investments through an agreement with the American Government. So, as American Indians, we've come a long way from Tee Pees, Wig Wams and living off the land. As my mom always said, "Be Proud of who you are and where you came from....." I can proudly say that I am proud to be a "Real" American, I'm proud to be an American Indian. Thanks Mom and Grampa!

Big Brother Big Sister Program

Well, as days pass working with the kids, I realize the need for a Big Brother Big Sister Program on this island. I'm learning that most kids have few positive role models in their lives to do things with outside of the school environment.
With the growing crime, violence towards residents and tourists, robberies and total disregard and respect for people, I've decided that "something" has to be done to intervene and save future generations from this negative way of life.
I have been in touch with Big Brothers Big Sisters in Philadelphia, USA and they've referred me to BBBS of Rotterdam, who handles all overseas programs. I've asked and inquired as to "how to start a BBBS Program" here on the island.
I am waiting for their response. I'll keep you informed.
Let's keep our figures crossed for a positive outcome!

A Day With The Kids.....

Well, Saturday continued to confirm my reasons for Always wanting to teach and be with the kids. This was the first adventrue with some of the students I teach as well as mentor. I have 11 kids in one of the classes and only 5 participated instead of the original 9 who returned their permission slips. Sleeping late was more important for one, two had to play baseball, and the others, I have no idea why they chose not to go.

I decided to take the kids to Grand Cayes near Cul de Sac on the French side of St. Martin. Most of these kids have never been out of their own communities nor have they ever visited the French side. I picked up the school van in the morning; I was told and reasured "would be ready and in proper running order", prior to the close of school on Friday. I met the kids at the Le Grande Marche'. (also note: the sliding door on the van fell off its track which I had to put back in place a few times) so much for the van being fixed properly. We arrived at Grands Cayes, and the kids were amazed that this beach exisited on "their island" Remember, these kids are 16, 17 years old and had never been there before. We hiked first down the beach, up and over the mountain to Petite Cayes and went swimming as well as sat on the beach after the hike. Along the way, I pointed out different types of flowers, insects, shells types, sea urchins, crabs that left their shells behind to grow into new ones, birds etc. ( you get the idea-fun, but still educational ) I planned the hike so that when we hiked back to Grande Cayes, My Business Partner Phil, would be waiting for us with BBQ's fired up and 12 racks of ribs would be cooking, as well as 10 pounds of potato salad and 1 dozen devilled eggs that I had made at 6am that morning, watermelon and bananas for dessert and plenty of water. (By the end of the day at 5 pm, after playing ball on the beach and swimming, and hiking, all racks of ribs, 10 pounds of potato salad and watermelon would be eaten entirely by the kids. This trip didn't cost the kids anything because the food was donated by Tabba Khady Restaurant and I paid for the fuel.

I learned alot this day.... Remember, these kids are not "priveledged kids". On the way back, the kids found a fisherman's marker made of styrofoam that had washed up on shore about the size of a softball. Simple thing, Right? That styrofoam ball became the toy of the day. It was a soccer ball (even though I had brought one with us), it became a ball the kids used along with, the swim boards as paddles to hit the ball in the air in a circle, volleying the ball to each other. The point is this: the kids made "something from nothing". No complaints, no wishing they had a "commercial toy to play with", just a styrofoam fisherman's marker that had washed ashore.

On the way to take the kids home, and for me to return the van to the school, the engine stalled 4 times at different points on the road after leaving Grande Cayes. I managed "safely" to get the van to a gas station in French Quarter where I learned upon opening the hood with the service station attendant, that the radiator cap was left unscrewed, but still sitting on the top of the radiator which allowed all of the water to escape and heat the engine. (the shop teacher who teaches automotive to the kids never screwed the cap back into place) After 20 minutes of cooling the engine and adding water, we were back on our way home, listening to reggae and laughing and joking. So much for the van being in "proper running order for us" for the trip as promised.... In St. Maarten/St. Martin I've learned that these kinds of minor setbacks aren't to "Crisis Levels" as they would have been in my past in the US. In the states, it would have ruined my day, added to Stress in my Life, and would have been "blown out of proportion". Over the years, I've learned how to adjust and things like this are just mere occurances and can be resolved. The best thing is to just say, "okay, here we go again and laugh". When friends visit us on the island and things like this happen, I still hear, "why do you want to live this way", and my answer is always the same, "It's the quality of life and the fun....!"

The kids had a great day, as we did as well. Five kids had a day out with adults who cared enough to take time out of their schedule for Them! I will continue my bi-monthly trips and monthly trips with these kids because they need to know they are important and that adults do care for them. And, it's about time they see and learn about where they live.

Treasures of the Past....

Alright, I don't know if it's called "Writer's Block" or a term I recently thought up as, "Blog Block", lol. For the past few days I've been extra busy working for school and when I come home, I start to work on the next days assignments and don't find much time to write. Plus, this is a special place for me, and I've decided that when I write, I don't want to write "just about anything". I want "it" to be special for me each time I write. Well, this morning while doing my daily chores around the house, I couldn't help but notice the "things" in the house. It's Phil's collection of African Art. They are from the "past". Not my past; but my partners. They are a memory each day for him, but they have managed to become a part of my life for the past 11, almost 12 years, because they are a part of his past. Over the years, the stories told about the pieces and how they were aquired have become "special for me" as well. Each piece has a "Special Meaning" as to what it's significance in African Life for the people and their Culture. When I look at the African Art collected from Niger, the Sahara and other areas of where his family spent their years, I can only relate to the stories told about their adventures. The movie Out of Africa is a beautiful story, buy my partner's family in Afirca, is a story even more beautiful.

His mom Denise died this year of Brain Cancer. It was a long and difficult time for all of us. Everytime that Denise would talk about Africa and its people, she would have tears of sadness and gladness in her eyes. Her love of the Sahara and its people were the stories that has built my curiosity and intrigue of the country of Niger where they spent their life. The African Art in our home is a constant reminder of a woman who accepted me into her family from the first day she met me. I was, in her words, "her American Son". The respect and love we had for each other will stay with me forever. Like each piece of African Art or Artifact we have, it's a constant reminder of a special place that leaves an impact on every person who has ever travelled to Africa. Every person that I ever spoke to that has travelled toAfrica has told me the same. "It's Magical"!

This is a year that "requires us", for a very special reason, to travel to Niger in Africa together for the first time. We plan to spend the holidays, including New Year's on or very close to the Sahara Desert which was Denise's Special Place on Earth. "It's Magical and cannot be explained unless you experience it first hand." For the first time in my life, I too, will experience that "Special Place on Earth."

I've gone back to teaching.

Well, today won't be any pictures. I'm going to talk about me. I've decided to go back into my chosen field of careers; Teaching! I'm putting my Restaurant Career on hold for a while. My partner seems to have things under control for now. I went to school to be a teacher in New York because I wanted to make a positive difference in children's lives. I taught Economics and Government as well as Elementary School during the course of a 12 year Teaching Career. (a head on collsion in Nov. 1997 ended my career in NY, but, that's another story). After living in St.Maarten for almost 10 years now, the stories in the paper about the island's youth seems to be getting progressively more depressing. There are more stories in the papers about children joining gangs, which was unheard of 10 years ago. Stories about poor test scores and children who can't read or write. My question to myself is: "What happens to these children when they reach the age of getting out of school with no reading abilities, writing skills and lack of job skills to survive on this small island ?" So, this year after reading so many Help Wanted Notices in the Daily Herald about needing teachers; I decided to apply. Being a foreign born person legally residing in St. Maarten, I actually wasn't sure if I would get the job. I have a Bachelor's of Science in Social Sciences as well as 1 Master's Degree in Special Education and a Master's of Education in Education Administration which allows me to be an Administrator in the schools. I went for the job interview to meet with Ms. Bryson-Pantophlet who is Head of Education as well as the building Administrator of the Vocational Training School, Mr. Richards. (Yes, this is the Lietenant Governor's Brother) Both very impressive and professional. I left after 1 hour and 30 minutes of talking and discussing my credentials as well as what the schools of St. Maarten need. I felt positive, but still not sure. That night while working at the restaurant , I received a call from Ms. Bryson's secretary inviting me to the end of the year breakfast for teachers at the Port de Plaissance Resort because they wanted to introduce me to the teachers. Well, I was hired! It was official; I was going to continue my life as a teacher in St. Maarten helping children.
Well, after almost a month in the classroom, I find myself enjoying the moment and the kids. I made the right choice once again. The kids are older, challenging, can be provocative, looking for a reaction and mostly, they are confused as to why a white, foreign man wants to take time out of his "posh life", (totally misunderstood), to teach them. My response to those concerns for them is this: "I went to school to make a difference in children's lives. We have something to learn from each other's culture's and experiences. And, most important, get use to my face because I'm not going anywhere!" I'm making an improvement already in my opinion. I'm teaching English and Social Studies.
My problem is that these kids at the St. Maarten Vocational Training School are lacking so much material: textbooks, dvd players to watch educational movies, supplies, right down to educational resource material. Their computers are basically outdated!
These kids have such a low self esteem about themselves that they've given up on themselves knowing that this school is their last resort and they don't even have textooks to read. I'm doing my best to help them, but, Why don't they have the proper materials for learning? The government is saying they don't want violence in the schools, but, where is the concern for these kids if they already know they've been left out and behind? These kids are frustrated and yes, angry because they are "burdens" to the government for being there....So, their only means of saying "Look, we're here, why don't you help us properly", is to act out, steal and hurt each other." Gangs are so common for these kids that it's the only way they feel they belong. Families are struggling to survive financially, they don't have time for the kids.
I guess I vented enough. I will continue to teach these kids and do things with them one Saturday each month outside of school such as: horseback riding, BBQ's on the beach, hopefully kayakking with a company who will donate the time and kayaks, hiking in Lottery Farm etc. because these kids don't know their own island. Through these things and activities and the signs of care and concerns from the "white, foreign man that they are so confused about who has already proven he cares about them," I Want and Will make a difference in their lives and their educational years. I'm proud to have made this descision once again; to be a teacher!

Together Again...."Oh Happy Day"

This was taken this morning, Sun. 9th of September. Caramel, Piccola and Happy are together again; playing on the beach as always as if the time hasn't passed with a separation of the three. We learned that Happy is sick with heart worms that hadn't been detected in the past. He also has ear canal infection and alot of antibiotics to cure some other problems. He needs to gain weight before the dangerous doses of medicine that he will need to endure to cure the heart worms. The cure is by using arsenic which can kill the animal if he is too excited by the worms breaking up in his system and going into the bloodstream and directly to the heart. The treatment, as long as he gains sufficient weight back, will start in about 2-3 weeks. He has a good apetite and seems to be adjusting again to us and the rest of his family. Time is everything....!

Happy is Home........!

WOW! This is all I can say about this unique and strange situation. As I mentioned, Happy Mysteriously Dissappeared" 4 months ago without an explanation. I went to Orient Beach late yesterday afternoon and when I was leaving, I just happened to look to the right behind Bay Watch Restaurant, and there was a dog walking to the area of where people discard their unwanted debris and garbage. I saw a dog with white paws walking in that direction and I continued to leave. I had a "feeling" so I reversed the car and went towards the animal. He was very skinny and sad and very much in need of food and water. I stopped the car, noticed the red collar and started to call Happy. At first, he was frightened and started to move away. He stopped after the second time of calling his name still very cautious of me. I moved closer and started to call his name in a way that I used to call him in a playing sence, a bit high pitched like I used to do to get his attention; "Happy Dog, Happy Dog," and this got his attention when he started very cautiously coming toward me and as he got closer, (I was now kneeling on the ground at his level), he started to wag his tail and jump up and down. I was petting him and he started to bite me in the small playing bites that he used to do. I asked him if he wanted to go home and when I opened the car door, he immediately jumped in excited. Well, I do believe in fate, faith and destiny and I can't believe after 4 months, Happy our slow, dumb dog is home. He is skinny and in need of a good bath as well as a vet visit to make sure he is alright, which is on the agenda for today. Maybe Cyber space managed to put us in the same place at the same time so that our paths would cross again and make the family complete once again.

Mr. Trouble,- aka-Meow,Meow

Well, here we are....The last of the bunch! This is Mr. Trouble, aka "Meow-Meow". Trouble is 5 years old now.We've had him since he was about 2 months old. Trouble is a Himalayan Persian and TOTALLY true meaning of ZEN. Trouble was a Christmas Gift gift for my partner. He was born upstate New York in the Catskills. The lady who bred these wonderful cats could not sell him because he was "so much trouble", nobody would take him, not even to breed. We adopted him and his sister named "Fancy Free" because she had a breathing problem that could have been operated on and eventually fix the problem. A breeder does this to make money and Fancy Free was going to be "put down" because of her breathing problem. We decided to take the two, mostly to save Fancy Free. A week before her operation, Fancy Free died due to breathing failure. But, as sad as it is, we gave her 1 more month of life and "nature decided how she would die", and not by choice of a person.

Back to Trouble: Trouble eats and sleeps and goes for his morning walk with Caramel and Piccola on the beach. He loves the water and has no problem laying in a puddle. He loves the sand as well as the ocean. When Trouble was small, in the middle of the night, (while we were sleeping), he would bang and knock on the cupboards until they would open, climb in and knock everything onto the floor; cans, bottles, pots, pans and they would roll across the tiled floor etc. you get the idea! Other nights, Trouble would walk across the piano keyboard and the tune wasn't that of Elton John or John Lennon..., you get the idea again; hence the name Trouble. Trouble is so laid back, his meow is even delayed. His mouth opens, and about 5 seconds later, a meow finally manages to find it's way out. He's a love and extemely loyal. He's the only animal we've bought and he's the one that is the most Zen. These cats, coming from the Himalayas where peace is the way of life, they really follow that phylosophy!

Dale, aka-"Dalee"

So, this is Dale, aka-Dalee. She is Chip's sister and more in need than him. She cries about everything....(not all of the time, just when she wants something). She adore Caramel more than anything else. He senses here needs, I think because he always accomodates her between his paws or in between his stomach. Dale is a good cat and always need to touch or be close to one of us. Her and her brother are with us for 1 1/2 years now and doing well.

Chip -aka: "Chippidy Do"

This is Chip, aka "Chippidy Do." Chip is the brother of Dale, (Chip and Dale-an American cartoon of 2 little chip monks). I'll introduce her later. Chip and Dale were about 4 weeks old when they were abandoned at the restaurant. They weren't born there, just abandoned long before the nurturing between kitten and mother should take place. They are now about 1 1/2 years old and doing well. Chip and Dale are independant, but they crave attention, possibly due to the need for the touch that they lost as kittens being separated too soon. Both he and his sister cry for attention once in a while or possibly it is their way of letting us know that they need to be held. They have great personalities and both love and adore Caramel and always need to be near him when he is resting. He basically became thier "surrogate mommy". They lay between his front paws as well as nestle in the middle of his belly when he is trying to sleep. Chip also likes his walk on the beach early in the morning when I take Caramel and Piccola for thei rmorning run on the beach before the sun comes up.

Happy is Missing....

Well, a "confusing", "unanswered", and "fear" for the "worst" story of what "might" have happened. His name is Happy. Happy is/was another dog that entered our lives through being abandoned near a previous business in Simpson Bay. He too was sick, neglected and lacking trust in human beings. We fed him, took him to the vet and ended up keeping him because nobody wanted to adopt a "stupid", "dumb" dog. Happy wasn't all there in his mind; he was "just Happy all of the time," but, a kind and loyal animal. Happy was with us for a little more than 7 years. The Story: One day while going for one of the many daily walks on the beach in front of the house in Oyster Pond, (4 months ago), Happy did what he always did; run ahead of Caramel and Piccola to run down the beach towards the Corolita Hotel/Apartments to do his own thing. Happy, towards the end was separating himself from Caramel because they never got along from the first day. Happy's behavior was more odd than usual by leaving our yard each day and finding his way into our neighbors yard and staying there. On this particular day, Happy went down the beach towards the apartments, went behind the trees and I assumed he was doing what he always did. and would follow afterwards either on the beach going back home or come to the house later after he explored. Happy never came home that day. I searched, asked people if they had seen him to no avail. It's been 4 months now and Happy is still gone. I don't know what happened to him, and knowing the stories of what happens to animals on this island, I fear the worst. Happy was slow in his mind, and really a dumb dog, but, he was our dumb dog and he was part of our family. As I drive down the street or walk the beach, I unconsciously look for him wherever I am because it would be nice to have him home again. He was a slow dog but he was our slow dog. If somebody did take him, I hope he has a good home and well treated. If other people or the "bad people" who hurt animals, have or had him, I say "Shame on You!"

Piccola & Caramel on a Centuries old Dolmen

Here is Piccola and Caramel on a centuries old Dolmen in the south of France, which was believed to be used for "ritual purposes". If you notice in almost every picture, Piccola is always on the left of Caramel? I just realized this myself when brousing the pictures to upload to this blog. Caramel and Piccola travelled a long way to get to this point....From the side of the roads born and abandoned in St. Martin; here they are thousands of miles from that point standing on a monument that was built hundreds of years ago in French History. After this picture was taken; a 1 hour drive from the mountains, they were running and playing in the Mediterranean Sea.

Piccola and Caramel

This is Piccola and Caramel under a tree, on Baie Rouge where he was born. They are with us as much as we can spend time with them. Thier favorite pass time is the water as it is with us. Sun, Sand, Sea and Salt is in the blood for all of us. Piccola-Or "Our Little Princes", (she's a lady), is also an island dog that was also abandoned on Cupecoy Beach. When we found her, she was starving, eating gravel and insects and a very bad case of mange. We didn't know what color her hair was because didn't exist. When we brought her home, people were asking us why did we want to bring home a dirty, mangey dog and sick as well. Well, like Caramel, she aquired the whole casino too. The two travel with us to the US as well as to Europe. These animals that were once living on the street, with no food, starving, flea infested dirty, smelly and abandoned "Little Dogs" have walked on the Champs Elysee', walked under the Eifel Tower and walked on roads that were built during the Middle Ages. They swam in the Meditterranean Sea as well as the Atlantic Ocean on "both sides". They've climbed mountains in the Catskills of New York, and travelled the US. They know they are special for us!

"Le Petit Prince" = Caramel

This is Caramel in NY at 5 years old. He's a Coconut Retriever that just happened to be in the right place at the right time, or maybe I should say, "We were in the right place at the right time!" Friends tell us that our animals "hit the 3 seven's on the slot machine" For Caramel and Piccolo, they aquired the entire casino......!